From PUNK GLOBE's Jim Rose Circus Scam, Fraud And Con Artists Beware monthly article.
WARNING!!!
The contents of this article could be dangerous. Misuse of the material can cheapen an art form or at the very least make you look stupid. More importantly, misuse of this information may result in jail time or death. Do not attempt any of these tricks without the direct supervision of a responsible professional.
Twenty-First Century Phobias
We have all had super glue stick our thumb and index finger together for a fraction of a second until we pull them apart. Super glue was invented to seal wounds quickly in Vietnam; it’s more skin friendly than you might think. You can wait longer than a fraction of a second and still pull your finger apart.
If you have cavities and I chew tin foil, it will creep you out.
Let’s say you’re sitting at a park bench and a maintenance worker unexpectedly starts a power tool behind you, it will make you jump.
Getting Even
Some people turn the other cheek to get most of the blanket. These people only believe in karma if someone cheats them. A person I once knew, who believed in karma, use to go around punching people in the mouth asking them “what they did to deserve that.” There is probably nothing more bitter than an opportunist who miscalculates. Disappointed opportunists are notorious for “get even” schemes.
House Down
When the victim is away on vacation, the hustler rents a truck and puts a little mud on the license plate. Wearing sunglasses and a fake mustache he pulls up to the day labor meeting with a job offer. He tells every able bodied man with a hammer to get in the back of his truck, and that he will pay each of them twenty dollars an hour for four hours work. He takes them to the victim’s house and says: “I’m going to build a new home on this land. I need each one of you to start helping me knock this house down. I will be back in four hours to pick you up and pay you. So start hammering away and I’ll see you soon.” Of course he never returns.
Box of Rocks
The less mean spirited revenge seekers might send a box of rocks C.O.D.
Merry Christmas
Some of them wait until two days after Christmas and place an ad in the newspaper that says: “Will buy your used Christmas tree for five dollars.” They put their victim’s address in the ad. This happened to a friend of mine once. Hundreds of people brought their Christmas trees. The Boy Scouts had truckloads. He spent two weeks arguing and apologizing to people who ended up throwing their trees in his yard and driving off in anger.
Winning a Fight
Often clever people and those who use the information in the book Snake Oil for the wrong purposes, can’t get a fake ID, or get out of town fast enough, so they have to fight. When these situations occur the hustler goes straight into the weasel: letting the shoulders hang down; acting wimpy hoping to avoid the confrontation; cocking the head and stuttering pathetically. This makes the aggressor overconfident. If there’s no way of getting out of the fight, the hustler springs the hardest punch he can muster to his opponent’s nose and takes off running for his life.
Easy Jail Time
Most wise guys end up in jail. The clever ones know how to type because typing is the easiest of trustee jobs.
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